Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
Monday, August 08, 2005
- touch a high voltage mains wire
- put a hand between two large moving cogs
- deliberately try to touch another car moving fast on a two-way road
And lots of other crazy but relatively small and easy things to do that can get you killed, just to see if it would kill you or not. It's a bizarre world but I bet there are like hundreds of deaths each year due to these kinds of thoughts - it must be similar instincts to the Jack-Ass style of prank except just more extreme.
Then it led me to thinking, what about the people who have actually done something stupid like these things and gotten away, probably with serious life-changing consequences. Hard Lessons - it would make an interesting website with video messages of mangled people saying "Don't do what I did, I lost a leg" etc..
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Over the intersection clear. Good. That saved time. Perhaps he could make it afterall. The next four minutes seemed to the driver to be longer than they actually were, which was a relief -- he made good time.
He parked and jumped out. Quickly, he opened the rear door and reached in for the meat. He pulled it out and bolted up the front lawn towards his porch door. Yanking the transparent porch door open he reached for the handle of the front door. It moved easily and he was in.
The Mobus had grown to fill the whole of the hallway. It seemed to consist solely of a large dribbling mouth surrounded by green jelly of varying shades . The driver was disgusted by it. He was ashamed that it had grown in his house. He tossed the meat deep into the mouth, still in the bags. The Mobus was taken by surprise a little but recovered quickly and began chewing it with relish. He hated this part and turned away, remembering he had left the cab door open he went outside to secure it.
He walked down to the road and pushed the door shut. He moved to the front and locked the door. He turned back to the house. Three people were waiting for him.
"We hear you have a Mobus" said one of them. He tensed and froze. He could hear peripheral noises as he watched the three infront, it sounded like others had moved in around the cab and were closing on him.
"It's not my fault -- it's out of control, man!" he cried, the sweat ran off him. It felt like a bucketful of sweat was dripping from his head. He had to try and explain, anything to avoid the beating.
"You've let your house go to shit. The Mobus moved in, attracted by your filth. It's got a grip on you, you've been sweating for it -- we can all see that. What was it this time? Meat? Yeah, I bet it wanted meat -- they all do -- at first" the voice was low and angry. "You've been feeding it man, haven't you?" it barked.
The driver thought it sounded like the voice of a cop but he knew it was no good reasoning with the mob, even if there was a cop amongst them. He broke down, fell to his knees shaking. "What can I do? Tell me what can I do! I want it out but I don't know how" he sobbed. The last he heard was the sound of evil laughter.
He woke feeling cold. He was naked. Except, he was wearing a golf glove on his right hand. "What the F***?" were his first words. His mind couldn't work out his displacement. He was inside a small wooden garden shed. It smelled of wood and weather protector paint. He sat on a wooden chair but wasn't restrained. On his lap was a folded piece of note paper. He opened it and read.
"It was necessary to purge the Mobus using a homemade flush. Your house is rid of it. You must live in the shed for four days until all trace of the toxic flushing agent has gone. You'll find cheese taped under your seat and a banana cellotaped to your shin. Use this for nourishment. Stay in your shed - you must not make contact with neighbours. You may return to normality after the four days".
When the four days had passed, he stepped out of the shed shielding his eyes from the daylight. He couldn't get into the house. Hippies had moved in and changed the locks. They waved and laughed at him from the kitchen window. When he got angry and shouted at them, the biggest male hippy came out and chased him around the garden with a plank of wood. The driver slipped and fell. Now the hippy had a clear shot he smacked the plank down hard on the driver's naked buttocks. The driver let out a roar of pain and scampered away crying.
As the hippy returned to the house he laughed and said to his girlfriend "Did you see that guy? What was his problem?".
Friday, August 05, 2005
Monday, August 01, 2005
Is it really Day 67 today? I'm glad there's only two weeks left.