Downstairs Analysis

During my ablutions this morning (I usually think a lot during my ablutions), I considered how nice it must be for those celebrities who can afford for a professional to individually advise them on their exercise/dietary/lifestyle plan. Imagine even going to the lengths of having a team of scientists evaluate the log I dropped this morning (sorry to be vulgar for just a sec there) and analyse it for weight, colour and dietary fibre. I've known about colonic irrigation for a few years ever since seeing a programme with various celebrities trying it out, Ian Wright (ex-footballer) I think was one of them. I don't know if this is true but apparently its possible to detect traces of beef that were eaten as a child - this hasn't put me off eating beef however I do eat a lot lot less beef these days. Anyway back to the point, how nice it must be as a celebrity to be able to pay someone to take an interest in ones rear and it's output.

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While on the subject of downstairs, yesterday I went to the Marks and Spencer emporium to buy some new underwear. There was myself and two old men circling the underwear racks and I felt that I needed a change. So my hand was guided by an unseen force into a choice I wouldn't normally have made. I ended up buying what could be considered as a pack of male thongs or jockstraps - well sort of a pouch at the front supported by a belt of thick elastic but rather than just straps at the back there is a proper back to them - so really they are a combination of jockstrap and brief I suppose. I usually buy close fitting boxers so I'm not sure how I'll get on with these but a change is as good as a rest as they say (as long as there is no chaffing involved!). They were buy one pack, get one half price but I wasn't confident enough in my choice to get a second box. We'll see if I live to regret that choice. I might be a convert: underwear is a very personal and individual thing, only one thing is certain: it's important enough not to ignore it, so throw out underwear that's too old and any that might have holes through wearing out. Consider the style element of underwear but don't go overboard. I think I just had a Trinny and Susannah moment!