I was reading through this list titled "Do you make these 10 mistakes in conversation?" this evening. I find conversation an eternally fascinating subject, mainly because I'm always seeking to improve my conversation skills. Here are a few things that happen to me during conversations:
I'll be listening and then I don't hear one word because of a noisy environment or a loud noise and it ruins the meaning of what the other person is saying BUT they're talking so fast I don't have the nerve to break their flow and ask them to repeat. So after they've finished I find my reply is a weak one because I wasn't sure whether they said they liked something or they disliked it. If only some people didn't talk so fast!
I hate being left in a room with people I don't know, I enter with someone I know and they drift off or leave. It's worse when everyone else knows each other and are being really loud, I feel like I stand out because I'm not talking to anyone. And then I get that "why am I here?" feeling, I hate that.
I hate it when someone has really bad smelling breath. I'm sorry, but they could be the most interesting person in the world but if their breath stinks I'm not going to want to hold a conversation with them and I move away, hopefully without them noticing my recoil.
I find it quite difficult to talk to strong, highly motivated, competitive people. I mean the kind who talking briskly, don't have time for anyone who's not powerful and only seeing the world their own way. Obsessively driven people. I prefer relaxed, creative people to business people: a stereotype I know.
Often I find it difficult to talk to people I think it would be "good to be friends with". I think one of the lessons for me here is that friendships evolve, you can't really force them but I think some people try to.
One thing I don't like is when introductions go round the table and you have to say who you are, what you do and why you're there or what you want to get out of the session. My mind goes seems to go blank!
I don't have a data bank of hilarious stories about stupid antics I've got up to that I can draw upon. Often I am telling someone a story about someone I've read about or something that happened to somebody else. Sometimes I feel there is a gap there.
I get nervous if I find the person I'm talking to very attractive. So I'm glad I'm not dating! In my past when I've arranged to see someone I found really attractive before the date I've not felt like eating and have felt a bit sick in my stomach. Feeling nervous and hungry aren't great starters for a relaxed and entertaining evening!
I dislike it when a date or meeting isn't going well but you have that feeling that you've got to go through the motions and be polite. Even though you know inside your never going to repeat the event or the relationship isn't going to be the one you hoped for.
I find it can be difficult if I unexpectedly bump into someone I haven't seen for a long time. It's awkward if I've forgotten their name and don't want to let them know I've forgotten.
In general I'd say I'm better at one to one conversations, in a quieter environment. I like to listen to what the other person is saying, so that I can understand them and respond accordingly.
I would say I'm guilty of not saying the right things to make keeping the conversation flow with ease. Sometimes its me not picking up on things they are saying but other times I'm sure its my fear of the conversation drying up that makes my thoughts dry up on what to say next.
Oh dear, quite a list of things to improve. That's the great part about conversation, it sounds like its a simple effortless thing but it's really not. Everyone has something to improve in their conversations. I hope the list in the link at the top of this helps in some way.
4 comments:
That was a good article. I am always seeking tips for good conversation. I am quite shy with people I don't know and find it very hard to initiate conversation. I think I can keep up fairly well if someone approaches me. But essentially I can be your basic wallflower :-)
That initial starter can be hard to find. My common mistake is coming up with a starter but not thinking far enough in advance about keeping the conversation going. So it stops and starts, with awkward silences inbetween, unless the other person is more skilled and helps out. Not always the case, as I say conversation is something we can all improve at.
I don't like the round-the-room intros myself. I know my turn will be coming up and I get anxious.
Oh and since I'm shy around bigger groups, it's hard for me to jump into a conversation that is already in progress. I usually just sit back and listen, and then one of the people who have been so deep into the conversation will turn to me and say "You're awfully quiet!" Well yeah, because I can't get a word in edgewise! :D
That happens to me too sometimes. I'm usually louder in smaller groups and quieter in bigger groups. It depends on how well I know people too. I'm shyer with strangers.
Post a Comment