Falling. Into the terrifying pit. Like jumping out of a plane to your death. It's a phrase I've never thought about but falling implies an unstoppable certainty. It also implies a landing that might be hard or soft. I think it's a good phrase, which is probably why it's stuck around.
I heard once that there is a difference between being "in love" with someone and "loving" them. I've been "in love" with some women who never knew how I felt (for the better I think). I am friends with some of them to this day and they don't know how I felt about them. The feeling of being "in love" can fade and be replaced with a kind of friendly love that you would never act on: the word is friendship. Friendship is a kind of love is it not?
I have been a fool of love. When I felt I could manage it and tame it. But I was wrong. You can't tame love. It changes and moves as we grow and change as people over the course of our lives. Loving a partner is a much richer experience but it's a long haul one. You might not like what they do at times but we are all subject to external stresses and pressures that make us behave oddly or unlike ourselves at times (drink and drugs being a big example of an external factor). But essentially, with a partner you admire and respect them and you both protect each other and just enjoy the time you are together much more than the time apart. This is how I feel about love and now I'll shut up about it.
3 comments:
I never knew there was a difference between being "in love" and "loving" someone. I just wrapped my mind around the difference of being in "lust" and being "in love".
But I can now admit that I am "in love" with a guy who I'm 99.9% sure doesn't love me back. I sent him a message awhile back saying that I've always wanted to get to know him. But he never responded. Too much truth I guess, and he wasn't prepared for it. Since then we have returned to a bit of normalcy on Facebook (strangely enough). He has never mentioned my message.
Tara: I shudder sometimes when I think of my own disastrous moments in attempting to make a connection with someone else. When I finally met my future wife though, we it it off immediately. I met her while attending a party, I went along only to keep my best friends girlfriend company because he had a free pass for a show. She didn't need my company really and I met someone special! I do wonder whether we'd have met had I not gone that night.
I'm enjoying your thoughts on love, FW. I sometimes feel I suffer from a bit of arrested development on that front...lets say I don't handle my feelings in the most sophisticated or discreet ways. But I don't dislike having strong feelings about others, even when they aren't reciprocated. And, as you say, those feelings can grow into something very mellow and friendly.
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